We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
