guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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