Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
