god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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