R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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