dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Is it penis luge time yet?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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