I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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