Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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