You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
