I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
