ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
