Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
