i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
