So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
