i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
