If that was your dad, he is hot
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
