This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize