haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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