his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you would pick up someone in the library
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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