i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize