Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize