how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize