Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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