kristin has been a bad kristin
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
