hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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