Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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