just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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