I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
