I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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