party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
