Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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