I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
