so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
