shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
