I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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