I don't usually arrange sex via text message
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
