He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
