After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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