you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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