You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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