I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
