chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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