I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
