They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
