Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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