I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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