this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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