This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Couch. On fire.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize