After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
