hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
