i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize