I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize