Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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