I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
