I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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