i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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