dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
